The Fear Within

Fear is universal and inescapable.

Across culture, language and geography, fear is a common element in the human existence. When we are born, we are born with two fears; the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. As we grow we develop more and more fears as a product or response to our experiences and environment. I recently read a study where a group of 500 psychology students were polled on their fears and at the end of the study the students reported over 7000 different fears. If we were honest we would all have to admit that fear is very real in each of our lives. So if we can’t escape fear and it is universal across all cultures, languages and geography, then what are we to do?

Read Matthew 14:22-32.

As we look at this story we see several things. First, we see Jesus sending His disciples across the lake. Being God, He knew the storm was coming, yet still He sent them on. Next we see Jesus walking out to the boat and the disciples being afraid, notice Jesus calms their fears about Him being a ghost but He did not calm the storm. Third we see Peter asking if he can walk to Jesus, Jesus says yes and notice the storm is still raging on. Then Peter loses sight of Christ and begins to sink. He call out saying “Lord, save me” Jesus reached out and saved him, notice the storm is still raging on. Not until Jesus got into the boat did the storm cease being a storm.

One of the take always for me from this passage is God does not always remove the storm, which represents our fear. Fear will always be part of our life, it is inescapable and universal.

Now that I’ve probably caused a few of you anxiety over the knowledge you can’t escape fear. Let me give you a bit of hope.

Fear is not the problem.

Read Mark 14:66-71

Peter’s response demonstrates the two main responses to fear which are shutting down/denial or anger.

Initially Peter denies Christ and walks away. For many of us fear stops us dead in our tracks and we become frozen, shutting down or running in the complete opposite direction of our fear. We can’t move in any direction with our life because fear is holding us captive. The good news is Jesus came to set the captive free (Luke 4:18 & ff).

The next main response to fear is anger. Peter’s final response to being asked about knowing Jesus is one that can only be expressed as anger, he denied Christ and began to swear and use curses. When working with people who are experiencing anger, exploring the root cause of their anger involves pursuing fears that are the possible trigger for their anger response. Anger may be a response to fear but just like shutting down it’s not an appropriate response.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once said “For every minute you are angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness”

I don’t know about many of you but I am tired of my fears stealing my happiness and keeping me from having the life God’s wants for me.

The solution

To break the chains of the fear that is holding us captive, we first have to acknowledge our fear and surrender to God.

What does that look like?

Peter gives us a good example of this back in Matthew 14:30 ESV

But when he saw the wind,^[c] he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” 

Part of acknowledging our fear is to recognize we need help and cry out for help just like Peter and ask God to save us.

When fear holds us captive admitting we need help is the first step in overcoming fear and who better to start with than the Creator Himself.

Then next step is to Trust God. Psalm 56:3-4

When I am afraid,
  I put my trust in you.
⁴ In God, whose word I praise,
  in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
  What can flesh do to me?

In sessions therapists often say trust the process, I trust the process but how much better to trust God knowing that He is my rock and shield,

Last, Crying out to God and trusting Him are great but it does not end there. There has to be action and that is where stepping out in faith is the final step.

This can be the scariest part, having to face the very thing that makes you afraid. When working with people and their fears, there comes the time when we have to approach the fear head on by exposing them to the thing that is causing them to be afraid.

John 10:10 tells us Jesus came to give us an abundant life. I want that life and to get it, I can’t let fear keep me from it.

My prayer and desire is for each person to break their personal chains of fear and have the best and most fulfilling life possible.

     I was blessed to have the opportunity to attend a lecture by Dr. Kurt Thompson on “The Soul of Shame,” his newest book. It was such a powerful time to hear about the impact shame has on our lives and how we allow it to take hold and keep us from moving forward with life, often with us never realizing what is holding us back. During the lecture Dr. Thompson made a statement that has lingered with me and has prompted quite a bit of though over the last several days. The statement was “we were created naked and unashamed” in reference to the Genesis account of creation and how, at the fall of man, that all changed as shame entered the world for the first time. As I sit with this statement and ponder what it means to be naked and unashamed these thoughts come to mind.

      First, naked not only means to be unclothed but also means to be unarmed or defenseless. When God created us we were created to live a life of communion with God and our fellow man, without the hindrances of emotional walls, our “clothes” if you will. Adam and Eve lived their lives without emotional or spiritual “clothes” separating them from God or each other; keep this in mind as you read the following passage from Genesis and let the magnitude of Adam’s statement sink in.

     8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid themselves from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. 9 So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” 10 And he said, “I heard You in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid.” –Genesis 3:8-10

     Hear Adam’s shame? The fear was not just because he was physically naked, it was found in his fear of being found out and his realization that he was physically, emotionally and spiritually vulnerable. In his vulnerability Adam realized his true nature and tried to hide it rather than deal with it openly and honestly. The problem was not just his nature, but hiding from it (his nature) and not trusting God to help him through it, accepting forgiveness and redemption.

     Shame likes to play on our perceived weakness and is reinforced by our desire to not be unarmed or defenseless. It is ironic that the very thing that can break the shame cycle is the very thing we run from, and that is genuine, open and transparent relationships. The enemy wants to use shame to keep us in a place of spiritual and emotional stagnancy, which is in direct contrast to the life God wants for us. After all John 10:10 reminds us of that very truth, “A thief comes only to steal and to kill and to destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it in abundance.”

     So how do we move past the shame? In my mind it is easy to talk about the steps of moving past shame, yet it is another thing to actually begin the process and stay the course. I don’t believe there is a magic formula for eliminating shame but I believe that if shame likes the dark recesses of our minds and hearts and cannot survive in the light then we need to bring light to our darkness. Here are my thoughts of a three step approach to ridding our life of shame.

     First, open honest confession to God. Our Father in Heaven wants us to have the best life possible, abundant life. By confessing our shame to God we open the doorway for honest communication and the healing that He has to offer. 1 John 1:5 reminds us “God is light; in him there is no darkness at all." So by confessing our shame the light of the world enters the dark places of our lives.

     Second, expand our circle of witnesses; our friends; the people who hold us accountable and pour truth into our lives without judgment or condemnation. I encourage you to find one or two people with whom you can be completely transparent. The goal is for them to provide additional light in your life and will keep you from letting your shame creep back into the recesses of your heart and mind.

     Lastly, once your shame is dealt with, do not allow Satan to keep bringing it up. I once heard that when Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of your future. I think we often allow Satan to have too much control of our thoughts and lives. I understand it is easier said than done but once God releases you from your sin and shame, Satan should not be allowed to drag it back up. This takes me back to point two and the need for people in our lives who encourage and pour truth into us.

     Shame is powerful at holding us captive, but it is time we take our lives back and move forward into light.

Your Love

This song is from the album Stop the Funeral by The Ambassador.

The chorus is beautiful and is a simple reminder for us as Christians, it says:  "He cried for the broken, lived for the hopeless, He died for the guilty so that we could be righteous.  He took away the shame, He wiped the tears away and I am amazed, oh yeah of Your love for me."

Order My Steps

I heard this thought on the radio this week and thought it was worth sharing.  “If you allow God to order your steps and allow Him to lead you down the path of life, where you are is not where you’re going.”

I had to stop and think about it for a second…then I realized how profound it was.  If we allow God to be in charge of our path, then it doesn’t really matter where we are at the present, He has better things waiting for us just up ahead.  Psalm 119:133 says: “Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.”  And Psalm 23:3 says:  “…He guides me along the right paths…”

As I thought about the statement more and more, the image that came to mind is one of driving down a dark road and entering a tunnel, at the moment I’m in the dark and alone but I know when I get to my destination I will have light and will not be alone.

So many times in our lives we feel like we are in a dark place and can’t see our way out, we have nowhere to turn and are feeling hopeless.  When we come to this place we need to ask ourselves are we allowing God to order our steps.  We can’t look at the situation we need to look at our heart and be honest.  If the answer is yes, then don’t worry about the situation, keep your eyes on Christ and the road before you.  If the answer is no, then repent and ask God to order your steps.

I know life can be overwhelming but that is not how God designed it to be.  We are designed to have a relationship with Father God and in that relationship we find peace in the midst of whatever storm or dark place we are going through.  It’s been said: KNOW God, Know Peace; NO God, no peace.

The Prayer

This is one of my favorite songs, the message is encouraging and uplifting!

Mostly Dead

Have you ever watched the movie The Princess Bride? In the movie there is a scene where the hero Wesley appears to be dead and the comment is made that in fact "he’s only mostly dead". An explanation is given - “mostly dead” means “slightly alive”. I was thinking that as a whole this is a pretty good description of where most churches and believers have found themselves. We call ourselves a Christian nation yet when I look around at our culture I realize we are as far from Christian as we can get - from advertisements to news to movies to how we dress, and on and on.

I believe the Church has lost much of its effectiveness because we have become so tangled in religion that we have forgotten that it is about a relationship, not rules. With all of our judgmental attitudes toward sin, or should I say toward sinner, it is no wonder so many people want nothing to do with church or Christians. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying rules are not important or that sin is not sin. I’m saying that right behavior and obedience to the commands of the Bible can only sprout from a true and living relationship with God the Father through His Son, Jesus Christ.

If we are not careful to cultivate our relationship with God we will find ourselves "fully dead" and have no impact on our world. In the book of Revelation the letter to the church in Ephesus says this: “Write this letter to the angel of the church in Ephesus. This is the message from the one who holds the seven stars in his right hand, the one who walks among the seven gold lampstands: 2 “I know all the things you do. I have seen your hard work and your patient endurance. I know you don’t tolerate evil people. You have examined the claims of those who say they are apostles but are not. You have discovered they are liars. 3 You have patiently suffered for me without quitting. 4 “But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! 5 Look how far you have fallen! Turn back to me and do the works you did at first. If you don’t repent, I will come and remove your lampstand from its place among the churches. 6 But this is in your favor: You hate the evil deeds of the Nicolaitans, just as I do. 7 “Anyone with ears to hear must listen to the Spirit and understand what he is saying to the churches. To everyone who is victorious I will give fruit from the tree of life in the paradise of God. - Revelation 2:1-3 (NLT)

As the letter begins it sounds good. The church at Ephesus is commended for their hard work, endurance and lack of tolerance for evil. Good so far, right… but then in verse 4 we see the kicker, “You don’t love me or each other as you did at first!” Wow, what a scathing comment! For a more personal example imagine coming home after a long day at work and having your wife of husband say: “Honey, you don’t love me like you used to!” That is what God is saying in this verse. No matter how well you get the religion stuff right, if you don’t love Him and your fellow man then you are missing the bigger picture.

Now let me say this - we should not confuse love with tolerance of sin. The two are not the same, nor are they in opposition to each other. Jesus could not stand sin but he loved people and wanted to see their lives change. He took them where they were and loved them into relationship. Matthew 22:36-40 says: 36 “Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?” 37 Jesus replied, “‘You must love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

So with all that said, how do we transform ourselves from “MOSTLY DEAD” to FULLY ALIVE? Simple - by cultivating our relationship with God, and loving Him with all our heart, soul and strength. When we do that all the rules and commands of the Bible become second nature. Those around us see the transformation and want to be ALIVE like we are.

Joseph from the big house to the storehouse

Over the last 24 hours something unusual happened - I heard a sermon on Joseph (Genesis 37-46). What, you ask, is so unusual about that?  Well it seems God must be trying to say something to me because I have heard almost the exact sermon three times, yesterday morning in church and twice in the car this morning on my way to work. There are so many things we can learn from Joseph’s story but today I am reminded that God is a God who wants to transform us.  Sometimes this transformation can happen without much notice being taken on our parts, but usually transformation happens by way of challenges, difficulties and pain. Growth is rarely painless! 

When he was a young man Joseph was shown visions of the future in his dreams.  In his youthful excitement he threw caution to the wind and made a big blunder by telling his brothers he would end up ruling them one day. This was the beginning of what was about to be a very long and difficult season in his life. 

Here we go rapid fire...  Joseph's brothers plot to kill him but sell him instead - great start, right? He is sold again to Potiphar, whose wife (let’s just say she was the original desperate housewife) tries to seduce him.  Joseph makes like Forest Gump and RUNS. Mrs. Potiphar lies and twists the truth so Joseph ends up being tossed from Potiphar’s house into the "big house".  While in jail Joseph has an encounter with the pharaoh’s baker and cup bearer which turns out to be good for one and bad for the other. Finally, he ends up interpreting dreams for Pharaoh and is placed in charge of all of Egypt. When famine strikes and his brothers end up on his doorstep looking to buy food Joseph, who could get even for all of their treachery, instead decides to have just a little fun at their expense. In the end he reconciles with his brothers and saves God’s people from starvation.

Joseph’s story is full of pain and difficulties yet he keeps his eyes on God, his pride in check, and he holds to the knowledge that God has a plan.  Slavery and prison were not pleasant to be sure, but Joseph allows God to use this time and these experiences to grow him, and as a result he discovers personal freedom and an ability to forgive his brothers that is almost incomprehensible.

No matter what you are going through today, keep your eyes focused on God.   Be cautious about casting blame, circumstances might not be anyone’s fault; it could be God redirecting your path.  I have heard several pastors say instead of asking God why, maybe we should ask ourselves why not.  I do not believe that God always causes our difficulties as punishment for sin - sometimes our difficulties have absolutely nothing to do with us but are there to draw others to God.

Whatever the reason for your struggle or difficulty be like Joseph and grow from it. You will certainly benefit yourself, but who knows, you just might be a blessing to someone else...or even save a nation.